We all want to be funny in the end, there's no denying it. The center of attention, the life of the party. The close social network of peers and co-workers at work and school all revolve around the man with the plan, the great ambition and most of all, the charismatic leader. To win people over, you are going to have to appeal to their sense of humour, deign yourself to their terms by having them appreciate your wit. If you're still reading this, you're obviously raring to go charm some fools out of their shoes, so why the hell are you still reading this functional, yet completely auxiliary introduction? Keep reading, you heathen!

The first step into dominating your interpersonal ecosystem is to familiarize yourself with the incompetent douchebags you are trying to sway. Attempt, for at least a moment, to portray yourself as a drooling dunce in front of your peers. If you garner some awkward stares, the stage is set for your brilliant turnover to convince the onlookers that you are the patron saint of humour. To maintain consistency with your feigned idiocy, it is now recommended to utter a phrase that no one who is currently wondering just how low your IQ really is would have running through their mind. To do as such, is to achieve the state of "Randomness". A form of comedy Nirvana, it is designed to baffle the viewers with astute and profound proclamations that are completely unexpected. A few random statements that have been known to work are:

"Pickle!"
"I like pie."
"Pie!"
"Doom!"
"I like <Monosyllabic noun goes here>"
"<Monosyllabic noun goes here>"
"We are the knights who say Ni!"

Your sudden outburst has astounded the fellow members of the conversation.

If they laugh nervously, shifting their eyes to and fro among themselves, unsure of what they can say despite the fact their deeply furrowed brows are clearly saying, "What the fuck was that verbal diarrhea that just came out of the idiot's mouth?", then success! They are clearly growing unnervingly aware of their own lack of humour! Expect the first born of everyone in earshot.

If they laugh heartily, joining in on the random verbage, kill them swiftly. The social pyramid's lofty tip can only hold one alpha.

If they stare at you coldly for ruining a perfectly pleasant conversation and are now steadily seeing yourself ejected and rejected from human contact for the rest of your life, then let me be the first to tell you that you deserved it, you insufferable dipshit.